Thursday, August 14, 2008

I know where the summer goes.

so, summer is ending.
the school district I grew up in, that the kids I work with are in started two weeks ago, and the school I go to starts in two weeks. Freedom is rapidly being stolen away from kids all over the world. That thought makes me feel crazy like when you try to fathom infinity. I know. Deep.

We still have like over a month of actual, seasonal summer I believe.
But I can feel summer packing it up and loading it in. Here in the desert, that just means, sitting in class when its still 20,000 degrees outside. Which is a horrible, awful feeling. but at least the days of running a mile* in this heat are long, long, gone.

As of June I have had my job for 4 years. I guess lots of people do in fact keep jobs for a long long time. But mine has not changed at all. I have totally blocked out most of what the kids I work with say and do. I have checked out. ....I've been answering the same question about PJ on thursday and Jeff Gordan for 4 years. thats a long time.

At the beginning of summer i was brimming with awesome ideas and lots of creativity and now the well is dry and my brain hurts when I sit down and try to create.
I just want to sleep. But i know what happens when that feeling comes, so I am doing my best to resist.

So, summer is ending, I will soon be shackled to classes again.
I hate my job. and I can't make anything worth anything.
The desert has finally started sucking my will to live...again. Hello Risa's 17/18 year old angst. I have missed you.

*i have never actually run a mile.

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