fat pupa

everything. i mean everything feels like a container.
my job. this town. this house. the things I love. my body.
I used to feel like i was a ball of energy and light rolling around inside of a chubby body, now I feel like the body is the thing and whats inside is the afterthought.
Im getting more swollen and gross all the time and the light and energy are getting crushed and smaller.

I am so ready to emerge from all of this, and when you're fat no one sees you trying to get unfat until you show up to work one day and you've lost 20 lbs, then people notice that,"oh good you're finally taking care of yourself".

well, trust me, Im working on it. In my own way.

I can't wait to emerge.