Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm probably not the best

School started yesterday, i have had 3 of my 4 classes so far. I will go to my 4th at 6:30 this evening.
The thing that has been pretty cool about college is that the first day is always 15 minutes of syllabus and then we get to go. Its awesome.
.....Every single one of my teachers has used the entire class time to exhaust the syllabus. Its ridiculous, its redundant, its unnecessary.
We'll see if my drawing teacher does it. My painting teacher talked about everything in such incredible detail it made my brain hurt. I guess some people really benefit from that kind of thorough explanation. All I can think is "you have us until December, can't you let us go just this once??"

I had my first meeting for Oil Painting this morning. I am very excited about this class. I paint, but no one has ever taught me how to. I guess that some things are instinct, but some skill refinement will really help me. We're going to spend a lot of time on color theory which will be all zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz but, it will be good to have that stuff fresh when I start making more portfolio pieces.

I am middle aged... by community college standards. There are like, babies, in this class. All I can think when i look at them is "they dress so impractically." I know I am not old, but I am a rare age for community college. Most people my age are at actual universities, so everyone else is fresh out of high school or like 45+. My class consists primarily of these babies, and then theres like, me, and this other dude, pedro, who is my age. we are friends, and then theres the community college favorite, the over eager older person. They like to make sure they are noticed with their oversized rolly backpacks and their over preparedness for our class.
They come with a kneaded eraser and then stand up and announce it when the teacher is going over the supply list. They range from the creepy old guy (with the suspenders and kneaded eraser.) to the insecure Cheri O Teri type woman with the mad camel toe.

We had to fill out these surveys about ourselves in class, and one of the things it asked was to say something spectacular about ourselves. When we were handing them in, one woman at my table asked "Is spectacular like... marvelous?" and she was serious. At first I was like wtf, seriously? Then later when I was driving, I was thinking about her asking that, and I started crying... because like, what kind of person makes it 40 with out knowing what spectacular means? How hard must school be for someone who doesn't even have a grasp on their own language. It totally broke my heart.

So, I kept looking at all these people and coming up with reasons why I hated each of them, and then I realized that I only hated each of them because several of them will remind me that I am not the best. Someone will be better at this than me, and it will make me crazy.
But I know I need to get used to that, because I am going to get my ass handed to me if I get into Otis and am taking classes with people who have been there for 3 years while I've been scrapping through my community college art classes.
I will never be the best, and I'm going to have to learn to be okay with that.

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